Goodbye Toronto – a reflection on my exchange

By Hannah-Safiyya Awan, York University, Toronto, Canada

Taking down the Toronto postcards I had pinned to my wall, packing little tokens from my desk that I’d picked up here and there from my travels into a bag and tying up the fairy lights I’d set up when my exchange began, I turned back, leaving my room the way it looked when I first got there, just a bed and a desk. Locking my room for the last time before handing in the key.

After having spent a transformational year living in Toronto, I had collected so many memories (and definitely more stuff that I left with) to take back with me. To think that from when I first arrived to opening that door for the first time, to closing it for the last, I had experienced so much: making friends with the kindest and most welcoming people, connecting and sharing experiences with exchange students from all over the world who I would’ve never known otherwise, going on some amazing travels across Canada and America, doing things I never even imagined I’d be able to do and truly living my best life in Toronto. It sounds cliche but this place now felt like home.

The person I was when I left was so different from the one who first arrived. I’d grown in confidence and positivity, and I saw what I was truly capable of. Pushing myself out of my shell and previous comforts made me realise just how many possibilities were out there; I just had to go for them.

In the weeks before leaving, I had a bit of a checklist. First, I made sure to say goodbye to all the friends I’d made by meeting up one last time. With some, we even exchanged gifts, which was a thoughtful and sweet gesture. I’m so grateful to have met such wonderful people who were a key part of my time there.

Next were some more technical bits, from paying my last phone bill to cancelling the sim and then cancelling my Canadian debit card (make sure to pay everything off before cancelling your card!) and selling some items like my mini fridge, lamps and iron. I’d just put a poster up in my building and got some buyers which was lucky. It also just so happened that a new girl was moving in who needed some of the things that I couldn’t take like storage boxes and food. I also made sure I had nothing else to do for my exchange university and sent some emails to thank my professors who showed me a different way of learning , taught both business and life skills and always made sure to make classes engaging and enjoyable for us.

Sorting all this out took a few weeks and was a little stressful, but once it was done I had nothing else to worry about really. This gave me time to see downtown Toronto and walk around thinking about how I’d lived such a different life here. From going to a basketball game on a random Wednesday to seeing the CN tower everywhere I’d go, to flying to New York so easily and thriving in another country alone. I’d been lucky enough to experience all of this and I’ll miss the city or the 6ix, the streets which I’d now explored and felt familiar, the Canadian accents, the delicious food and desserts (hot Cheetos included), the tall glass buildings and the more historical architecture , Toronto Islands and hearing the birds whilst being sat on the swings, the gorgeous skyline, having independence and waking up everyday knowing that I’m in Toronto!! and thinking everyday is a beautiful day and full of potential.

As much as I was sad to leave, I was also excited for what was ahead. This experience had taught me so much about myself. I’d grown, gained confidence, and now had a much more positive outlook on life.

I realised the world is so much bigger than I ever thought, and there’s the whole world to explore. I gained a greater knowledge and appreciation for other cultures and an excitement to learn more. I realised that if I wanted to do something, I just had to find it and go for it. My exchange showed me that I could shape my life the way I want it to be, and that’s exactly what I plan to keep doing.

I also came out of this experience with new skills, I became more adaptable, resilient, and open-minded. I saw the world differently, but more importantly, I saw myself differently. And if I could live my dream life for a while on exchange, then there’s nothing stopping me from doing it again.

So as I looked out the window of the aeroplane, I reflected on these valuable lessons and memories and envisioned how back in Manchester, I would put up my Toronto postcards in my wardrobe and place my Toronto snow globe on my desk as well as some other bits I picked up here and there as a reminder that my world is bit brighter now and full of possibilities.