Dealing With Loneliness

By Georgia Reid, Università Bocconi, Italy

Studying abroad can be a very exciting time and, for many, a time that they will reminisce on for the rest of their lives. But for some, it will be a very isolating time – not knowing anyone, being far away from home, and in a different time zone from family and friends. So, I have made a list of things to help navigate feelings of loneliness.

All the time on social media you’ll see posts of people with their big friend groups, doing fun activities, and some people are lucky to experience this. However, not everything you see is true, and people can be fake on social media, and this is important to keep in mind if you are experiencing loneliness. I found that during my second semester, a lot of people had large friend groups, but it turns out they all knew each other from their home university, and it wasn’t people that they had just met! My experience was also that a lot of people weren’t there to make friends, but to just ‘go on holiday’. Remembering this eased my self-doubt significantly.

At my university, we had an exchange network called Erasmus Student Network (ESN), who would organise different events for incoming exchange students to meet other students. They would put on dinners, trips, and games, mainly during the first two weeks of university, but they also arranged trips throughout the semester. It is definitely worth getting involved with, by joining group chats and following their Instagram pages to stay up-to-date with what is happening. Most universities will have something similar, and it is a great way of meeting new people.

Living in a student accommodation can also be a great way of meeting new people. My accommodation puts on lots of events every month, which is great for getting to know people living in the same place as you.

Other people have also tried using Bumble BFF. Essentially, it’s an app where you can meet people in your city who are also looking to make friends and meet new people. Milan didn’t have very many users, so I can’t personally say whether it works or not, however, it is definitely worth trying, as it doesn’t limit you to people in your own university – you can meet people of many ages, from different cities across the world, and some of which aren’t even university students!

Studying abroad is a great time to become independent. Something that limited me was thinking I couldn’t do things alone, however, once I accepted that it was alright to do things alone, I enjoyed it so much! A major factor which helped me overcome this was realising that time was passing me by, and if there was something I wanted to do, or a place I wanted to travel to, I needed to summon some courage and do it alone. This meant that I ended up travelling, going to museums and exhibitions, and even just taking myself for food by myself. I personally feel as though my self-development has drastically improved by being forced to be completely independent.

There is also nothing wrong with going home to see your family and friends if you are struggling, or having them come out to you. During my year abroad, Ryanair was my best friend, taking trips back home and to Manchester for the cost of a nice dinner out, as well as my family and friends coming to see me. Even having calls with others can help significantly.

It’s alright to talk to others about feeling alone – you’re not the only one! There are lots of resources if you are really struggling, such as both Manchester and your exchange university’s resources, as well as online help.