Long Distance Relationships: overcoming the distance

Leading up to my departure of 5,981.38 miles away, the reality of beginning a long distance relationship became a daunting and heavy feeling. You can only prepare yourself so much, but I will offer you some of my experience in navigating this difficult chapter.

Although a hard decision to make, turning down an important life opportunity in favor of a more comfortable relationship is something I promised myself I would never do. And I’d never want my partner to either. Especially with today’s technology, it is not impossible and the growth and lessons learnt through such an experience will only strengthen your relationship and yourself.

One tip I would give is to ensure both of you are experiencing a new life chapter. If one is moving abroad and the other is carrying on with normal everyday routine, this could create a feeling of resentment and the absence of the other feels greater. Could they start a new job? a health journey? learn a language? It could be a small or big change, but any will help with the adjustment. Being able to both share your new experiences apart from each-other brings you closer together.

Scheduling times each day if you can to call or facetime is crucial. Intentionally carving out a time of your busy day to be present with one another creates stability and consistency. Giving a schedule of your day to find a space to speak and dedicate to it is key. As someone that isn’t the biggest fan of calling and facetime, I have learnt to adjust and now look forward to it every day. Finding your preferred and most effective mode of communication is important, however strange it may feel at first.

Other than dedicating a time to communicate, spend the rest of your days keeping busy. Time flies when you’re having fun! You’ve taken the leap of moving to a new country, so explore it. Make new friends, immerse in the culture, try new foods, travel on your long weekends. Utilize this unique opportunity to strengthen your independence.

As early on as you can, plan when you are seeing each other next. Knowing exactly when you’ll reunite is a great motivation and an exciting trip to plan! As I have settled into Hong Kong, I have kept note of the places I want to share with my partner, which is both exciting and comforting. The countdown is hard to look at, but it will only get smaller.

Get old school with your communication! Send handwritten postcards, photos and gifts. Being creative in how you navigate the distance keeps things interesting and allows you to share your new life in a more connected way than just through sending photos of the new landmark you saw that day. These will be meaningful keepsakes you’ll share during and after this incredible chapter in your lives.

Finally, the most important advice I can give is trust. Without that there’s nothing. Trust in the strength of your relationship and trust in one another is the foundation.

Some apps I recommend (available on iOS & Android):