Navigating the End. Some Reflections and Tips After Coming Home.

By Alex Moore, Australian National University (ANU), Australia

I found myself sitting back in my childhood bedroom, a year and a day after I first left to go to Australia, feeling like the past year was just a figment of my imagination. It’s hard to comprehend everything that has happened when you are back where you started.

I was excited to see my family and friends again, and it’s been so nice to catch up on everything we have missed. But it’s also strange as people talk about their graduations and finishing the uni chapters of their lives. I think, especially because I live very rurally, the change in pace back to living on a farm has been the biggest alteration. After a year of constant trips and change, coming back to the quiet was nice to begin with, but it has made the realisation that my exchange is over harsher. So I wanted to write this blog post to help reflect on navigating coming home after my exchange:

Reverse Culture Shock

When I pictured going home, I pictured a seamless return. I was underestimating how much I would miss my routine at ANU. This is mainly just missing the ability to see and speak to the friends I made every day, all living on campus, and always having at least one person up to doing something at pretty much any point in the day. Whether that be a post-lecture pint or just sitting in the quad reading, someone was always within walking distance. Now I find myself having to drive 30+ minutes to visit friends, which doesn’t quite have the same level of ease to it. I even find myself missing college life, despite being very ready to move out of a massive student accommodation by the end of the year.

This might be more of an issue due to the fact that I have gone from a city to the middle of nowhere, but missing what you had is such a natural response, and talking to the friends you made who were also on exchange is so important. You went through such a unique experience with them, and they will be experiencing the same kinds of emotions as you as they return home. So staying in touch and reaching out is key.

Time Perception

Sounds strange, but some days it feels like yesterday that I was leaving for Aus, and others it feels like a lifetime ago. I have been going through my summer journal and seeing everything I experienced now as just memories and photos has been a bit surreal. The constant sense of something new, whether that be places, people or just different experiences, made time whilst I was out there feel so fast so now it feels like I have stalled a bit and having to sit in one place feels new.

Explaining memories to my friends is easy when it comes to the big moments like trips and summer travels, but trying to articulate the memories in between is much harder, even if these were the bits that made the year truly special. Appreciating and reflecting on the ups and downs of the year is an important stage of processing the year. Reflecting on everything together with the people you experienced it with is such a nice way of working through being home. Also remembering that it wasn’t perfect and that there were low points that you overcame is a great way to recognise growth in yourself, but also stop yourself from looking back at your exchange experience as perfect (because nothing is) as this will only make leaving harder.

Not overwhelming yourself is also key. It can be tempting to want to see and do everything you have missed all at once. But giving yourself some time to just be at home and relax a bit will help make the transition more seamless. Try not to let the sense of urgency take over and do things at your own pace – its ok to say no to things if you are feeling overwhelmed.

Reflection is Key

Sometimes reflection can be seen as you being stuck in the past. However, reflection is key in processing your emotions and appreciating what effect an experience has had on you. Because when you are there, the exchange feels so short, there isn’t much time to sit and reflect when you are constantly absorbing everything around you. Being home provides fewer distractions and allows you to start to more consciously look back on everything that happened. I found having a journal whilst I was out there to write down not only my thoughts and feelings, but also jotting down what I was even on the more seemingly boring days, has been an amazing thing to look back on and refresh my memory. Photos are great at capturing a moment, but words help to capture feelings and also the more mundane parts of everyday life (not just the big trips and events). This aids in reflecting on how you have changed and developed over the year and to recognise what you struggled with, to help shape where you want to go next in life.

Overall, my year abroad was incredible. I met some amazing people and even some from the University of Manchester, who I now get to go into fourth year with (one of the best but unexpected gifts that I got from my time at ANU). The opportunity to go abroad is one I would recommend to anyone, and despite Canberra being one of the quietest and most unique cities I’ve ever visited, it will forever hold a special place in my heart thanks to the year I experienced with ANU as my base.