By Isobel Cecil (University of California, San Diego, USA).
(I wrote this a month ago, and thought I’d posted it a month ago to. I’ve only just realised that my technical capabilities have failed me again and that it didn’t post. Hey, just another setback!)
Here I am just a few days away from my long flight to California, and I’m finding it very hard to describe how I feel. Everybody keeps asking me: “Are you excited??!?!?” , to acquaintances I enthusiastically reply “Yeah! 100%! Woohoo!” and make some lighthearted joke about tanning/Mexican food/ surfer boys. However to those closer to me I tell the truth; I don’t have any overwhelming feelings of excitement, happiness nor even of fear and nerves.
The journey to this point in time has been the most incredibly stressful process I have ever been through. I’ve felt like every aspect has had multiple setbacks: from course selection confusion to seemingly never-ending Visa problems and stresses.
And then, when I thought everything was sorted, I received an email informing me that I had not got into “International House” (the only UCSD accommodation we were allowed to apply for). I remember joking with my Manchester friends whilst writing my 5 mini-essays for the application (no joke) that if I didn’t get it I would just have to camp out on the beach for year. When I received the email I had no reaction, it was like I’d just read another email from ASOS/Student Beans.
The truth is, I was so shocked and scared that I just couldn’t process it. It wasn’t until my parents came home and I had to put it into words that I started to freak out. I had nowhere to live; there was no space left on campus,;I wasn’t going to get the campus experience I had signed up for — the experience that I had sacrificed my second year in Manchester for.
The worst thing was that there was no straightforward next step. The rejection email had one link on it to “Commuter Student Services”, a website designed for 3rd/4th year UCSD students, who have grown out of campus life. There was a list of extremely helpful tips such as “Drive around different neighborhoods to see if you like atmosphere” and “Keep an eye-out for FOR RENT signs when you’re out and about”, to say this exacerbated my anger would be an understatement. Three out of four of us going to UCSD this year from Manchester did not get into I-house, and we are all struggling. I almost sorted out housing with 2 different American girls but one of them just stopped messaging me, and the other panicked about getting an international deposit and rented a studio apartment instead.
So here I am just a few days away from my flight to California, and I’m finding it hard to describe my feelings. Just as I was too shocked to react to my accommodation rejection email, I feel to overwhelmed by house-hunting stress to even process excitement or nerves, it just feels like there’s too much to be done. The knowledge that I’m moving to California, and I have no-where to actually move to, is perhaps occupying those parts of my brain.
I realise that was not exactly positive, but I feel it’s important to be honest. This process is difficult, but hopefully it will be worth it. On a more positive note, apart from trying to sort out California stuff, I’ve been busy this summer ticking off my “England To-Do List” including: Going to Y-Not Festival in my beautiful home county of Derbyshire, having a last roast dinner, a last decent British Curry, spending time with my friends who will soon be so far away and most importantly– having my last pint in the pub! A few little photos of that to cheer up this post, including me looking suitably delighted to finally get my visa and the top photo of my friends and I doing a little ironic sorority girl pose; that should be something suitably hilarious to observe when I finally get to CA!